I want a divorce, what do I do now?
You’ve probably heard it said that relationships are difficult, but you may not realise quite how hard they can really be until your own is in a downward spiral towards a seemingly inevitable divorce. Before you call up a process server to deliver the dreaded paperwork to your soon-to-be-ex, there are a few things that you can try in order to save, or at least amicably resolve, a crumbling marriage.
You Want A Divorce
No one enters into a marriage expecting to get a divorce. But if you are now considering one, it’s important to stop and think about what a divorce really means before you seek legal help. Ask yourself if your anger is over something temporary, and whether you think that the conflict could ultimately be resolved. If you have children, consider what a divorce might mean for custody arrangements as well.
Choosing to seek counselling is a difficult step. For many, just the thought of having one’s personal life, thoughts, and struggles analysed by a stranger can impact panic. However, if you and your spouse are constantly arguing over every detail of your lives, counselling may provide a solution.
A counsellor will be able to look at your problems and disagreements with an impartial eye, and will help you to direct your conversations and discussions towards a resolution. Even if you still choose to go through with the divorce, counselling can help to make the entire process go more smoothly by improving communication between both parties.
Avoid Conflict In Your Divorce
As your marriage is falling apart, it can be difficult to keep from getting angry over even the most mundane daily occurrences. If your spouse is constantly wanting to argue, it can be even more difficult to remain calm and cool-headed. Choosing to avoid fighting over the little things may help you to avoid bigger conflicts, and it will improve your relationship with your spouse, although progress may be slow.
Legal Rights Divorce
If you’ve already decided that you cannot stay married to your spouse, the first step towards an amicable split is to learn your own legal rights. Even if you do not think that your split will be hostile, it’s a good idea to prepare for the fact it could be come that way. Make yourself familiar with the ins and outs of a divorce, and what you can expect to keep from your shared assets.
If you have children with your spouse, it is even more important to know what you need to do to decide on residency arrangements. Try talking with your spouse, to see if a resolution can be reached between you both before any legal help is brought in. Deciding this amicably will ease some of the stress and pain felt by your children and by yourselves.
Serving Divorce Papers
If you and your spouse are not talking, or if things are especially hostile, delivering divorce paperwork can be a difficult task. To help this step go more smoothly, you may choose to enlist the help of a process server. A process server can deliver the paperwork to your soon-to-be-ex, ensuring that you meet all necessary legal requirements for delivering them and helping you to avoid a possible fight.
Writer’s Bio: Lewis Murawski is the marketing and business development manager at Diem Legal and Managing Director of Kahootz Media. Need professional help with digital marketing? You can connect with Lewis directly on LinkedIn